Well, here we are and I vow that after this season, I will never again watch American Idol. Jason Castro was eliminated Wednesday night. He was easily the most unique left on the show and he has more personality than the other three combined. Here's my theory:
The judges, producers, host, public, everyone basically wants a David vs. David finale, except for the few fans of Jason or Syesha and maybe a few David fans who want the best odds for their David.
So, American Idol decides to give the majority what they want. But, if they outright rig it, the info will eventually leak out somehow and the show will lose all credibility. So, one by one, they have to pick a competitor to slam nad send packing.
And so it began with David Hernandez. The judges picked on him, made him look bad, and he was gone. Then Amanda, Chikezie, and Ramiele, followed after him.
But, the outrage doesn't end there. "Who's left?" the judges and producers ask, "Who else stands in the way of our perfect finale?" And they are answered, Brooke White, Michael Johns, Carly Smithson, Kristy Lee Cook, Jason Castro and Syesha Mercado.
They don't see much of a threat to their evil scheme besides Michael Johns. And behold, the first most unfair elimination of the season. Michael Johns was a very talented man and, if allowed to continue his rightful time on the show, he would have eventually become as big of a phenomenon as the Davids themselves. So he had to go. Mistake number one, right there.
Then they figure, why not get rid of someone the public hates, just to make it look like we're not swaying the votes at all. Thus, Kristy Lee packs her bag and heads out behind Michael Johns.
Down to the top six, the judges pick up on all the Carly hype. They figure that "No Personality" Syesha, "Miss Sweetie Pie" Brooke, and "Under the Radar" Jason will be no problem to pick off one by one so they go for the craze of the time, Carly, and she's gone, taking her tattoo with her. They don't, however, let this week go by without criticizing the remaining three in the way of their goal and make a few unkind jabs at Jason, Syesha, and Brooke to get the public ready to discharge them. Mistake number two, accomplished.
After this last week, the judges are pretty satisfied with themselves. They have, after all, managed to kill the two most popular names in the competition (other than the Davids, of course). What they didn't count on, however, was a mass uprising of the Dreadhead population. Jason Castro fans started to catch onto the scheme after weeks of unfair eliminations and they set out to rack up votes for him to keep him going. Besides, the judges would never notice goofy little Jason, he's no threat, right?
Going completely unnoticed, we Dreadheads amass huge amounts of supporters and "gather up ammunition" because we've figured out what's going on; the two mistakes did not go unnoticed by us. After Brooke forgetting her lyrics (conveniently for "the scheme") she hits the road, sending everyone reeling because, whether the judges knew it or not, Brooke had many fans who loved her dearly.
And now, we're down to the top four. All they have to do is defeat Jason and Syesha. But if Jason is still around after his train wreck on "Memory" and his strange performances of Neil Diamond, the public must really love him," the judges say. Besides, if they send Syesha home, like she deserves, the public will brand them racist and sexist as she is the only female and the only black left in the competition. So you do the math, who's left?
That's right, they resolve to be even crueler to Jason than they already have, even if he doesn't deserve cruelty. And, even more unfortunately, Jason doesn't make the best songs choices AND forgets the lyrics giving the assassins more to work with. The time Brooke forgot her lyrics, she completely stopped the song and the judges were still sympathetic because they needed to get rid of Carly, to stop the craze sweeping the nation. So, they forgave Brooke, Simon even going as far as to say that in her position, he would have done the same thing. But then, when Jason forgets the lyrics, doesn't stop the song, and sounds 100 times better than Brooke, they attack. They say he's "not in the zone" (Randy) "not the Jason they know" (Paula) and even "pack your suitcase" (Simon). But when Brooke forgot her lyrics and did way worse than Jason, they were all sympathetic and she made it another week, because it was what they needed. It just goes to prove my theory.
To cinch their deal, the judges play up Syesha's performance, saying she's "living the American dream" to get her more votes because they know she'll need them; they have witnessed the almighty power of the Dreadheads. Syesha cries and amasses tons of sympathy votes.
Jason fans gather together Tuesday night and after two hours of calling in over 1000 times, we are sure that we managed to save him. And to this day, I think we really did manage to save him. The judges receive the results and guess who our top three are! David Archuleta, David Cook, and Jason Castro! Oh no, that won't do at all now, will it? So what do we do? We lie!!!! We give Jason --- the most unique, the sweetest, the one with the strongest personality, the guy with the cute eyes and awesome smile ---- the boot.
And Syesha, the undeserving twit, advances to the top three unfairly, leaving Jason to smile genuinely and "shoot the sheriff" one last time, entirely unaware that he deserves another week.
And now, after my excellent theory, ask yourself some questions: "How will the judges dispatch Syesha? Does she really have a fan base that they will need to take down by unfair criticism? Or does she really have none, making their lie about Jason even worse?" But keep in mind, whether she has a fan base or not, they will get rid of her. After all, even she manages to wow everyone and get all her votes, enough to boot one of the Davids, they can always just lie, right? What's the harm in a little lie?
3 comments:
You ask, I answer:
"And now, after my excellent theory, ask yourself some questions: "How will the judges dispatch Syesha?"
With sympathy, empathy and a pat on the head.
"Does she really have a fan base that they will need to take down by unfair criticism?"
I think this show is driven mostly by a young female fan base. Syesha will fare poorly in that regard, but keep in mind the Davids' vote will be split, fairly evenly, I'd guess.
"Or does she really have none, making their lie about Jason even worse?"
She probably does have a fan base -- those who prefer her R&B style, those who find David A. kind of treacly, and who find the other David, as I do, boisterous, unpolished, and rather mediocre, with a unappealing, narcissitic air.
"But keep in mind, whether she has a fan base or not, they will get rid of her. After all, even [if] she manages to wow everyone and get all her votes, enough to boot one of the Davids, they can always just lie, right? What's the harm in a little lie?"
Here, I disgree. The producers won't lie; they want theatre, and for theatre, you have to give the people what they really want. If she wows the crowd, she will win. And I do not think a David A. vs. Syesha Final would be much worse, than a David vs David final, though that matchup would be cuter, maybe. Syesha is better than David C.
As far as Jason is concerned, he really cannot blame anyone but himself. He chose mostly poor songs the last two weeks, though I think "September Morn" was a pretty good style for him. But the others were bad -- he seemed like he was trying to fit the mold of the performers who made the songs -- Diamond, Marley and Zimmerman, er, Dylan, rather than be his own performer. In last's week's show, it was like he was trying to capture the past (the 60s) rather than trying to put his own mark on the songs. Not sure his style could put his own mark on those: his style is too much like the originals. That's why "Over the Rainbow" was so good: he took a Judy Garland song and made it a little Rastfarian/Vaudevillian number. Brilliant! But you cannot out-Marley Marley, or out-Dylan Dylan, as much as I dislike both them and their music. By trying to do so, he came off flat, a copy. And the judges don't want copies.
So Jason goes home. Hopefully, he gets a manager who understands that Castro's charm is in his incongruencies: dreadlocks and cross necklace; hipster demeanor and family background; big city 60s drop out and Rockwall, Texas, roots. He will probably have a pretty decent career for at least a while, if he can pick songs, original ones and borrowed, that allow him to mix the two Jasons into his own blend.
this is to long
read it! it makes sense...
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